The Right Way to Break Up With a Popular Partner
Your mother loves him. So do your sisters. Your friends are equally
charmed by his mild-mannered nature, diligent attentiveness to you, and
strange love of The Notebook. Even your father is accepting of the man in your life (incredibly).
One problem: you’re about to break up with him. Shock will surely run
rampant through your circle. Your friends will criticize you endlessly
and your mother will warn that you’ll end up alone. Even your dog will
shoot you a look of deep regret. Regardless, you have your own reasons
to do it. Now, how do you go about breaking the news to your family and
friends without receiving the backlash? Follow these keys to breaking up
with a popular partner while keeping peace and order within your family
and your life:
Remember, it’s your life. Before you even leave him, prepare your loved ones. Sit them down and tell them you are about to make a major decision that will impact your life. Reiterate to them that you’ve thoroughly thought it through and that you’re committed to your choice to walk away from your partner. If they begin to disagree, simply hold up your hand. Say, “It’s my life, my choice, and I know you love me enough to respect it.”
Remember, it’s your life. Before you even leave him, prepare your loved ones. Sit them down and tell them you are about to make a major decision that will impact your life. Reiterate to them that you’ve thoroughly thought it through and that you’re committed to your choice to walk away from your partner. If they begin to disagree, simply hold up your hand. Say, “It’s my life, my choice, and I know you love me enough to respect it.”
Don’t reveal why.
You don’t owe explanations to anyone but yourself. Now is not the time
to admit to your best friend that you actually caught him cheating with
his secretary or reveal to your mother that, in fact, he’s gay. Keep the
details of the reason for your breakup to yourself. Don’t volunteer
information, as this will convolute the situation further and even
degrade your partner to people who have grown to love him. Plus, the
more you explain the details to others, the more they will bombard you
with their advice, theories, and suggestions. This will only serve to
confuse and upset you. Chances are that with a pending breakup, you’re
already going through a tough time. So no need to make it harder on
yourself by inviting in the voices of outsiders. State that you have
valid reasons to leave, and leave it at that. What you should explain to
them, however, is how and why you’ll be better off without him.
Don’t bring it up unnecessarily.
Your family and friends may be disapproving in the beginning, but
they’ll understand eventually. There’s no reason to bring up the
subject, especially if they don’t. Keep old memories and stories about
the relationship to yourself right now. The less you speak about the
relationship or the breakup, the less you will have to bear
condescending conversations.
Ask him to respect your family’s space. He may have
become best buds with your brother, but that can pose a problem because
it continues to guarantee him a seat at the family table. Ask him
politely but firmly to cease contact with your family members: not to
check up on your mom, go golfing with your dad, or have a drink with
your cousin. Plus, it will be difficult for you to carry out a breakup
if he continues popping up at gatherings or family events.
Stick to your decision.
Nothing looks worse than initiating a breakup then running back to your
ex. At first your family and friends will be surprised, but then
they’ll accept your actions. At that point, it becomes downright
hypocrisy to get back with the partner whom you just swore you need to
escape. If you are ready to end the relationship, stand impeccably by
your decision. That you are a mature woman who honors her word will
command respect from your loved ones.
No breakup is
easy, but a breakup in which your family and friends have become
attached to your partner is a truly difficult feat. Nevertheless, the
opinions of others fail in comparison to the fact that you are taking a
step towards securing your own joy and fulfillment. Drown out external
voices and follow through on your intentions.
To pain-free breakups,
Alexandra Harra
Alexandra Harra
To learn more about The Karma Queens’ Guide to Relationships, click here.
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